How Do I Practice Being Present & Engaged In My Life?
How Do I Practice Being Present
& Engaged In My Life?
By Meret Flessenkamper, MA
Master’s Level Clinical Psychology Practicum Student
The first time I noticed how much of my life I spent living in autopilot and going through the motions day by day was when I was listening to a podcast on the train. I was on my way to school (this is back when I was still living in Switzerland) and used the time to check out a podcast that a friend had recommended to me. Apparently, it was a psychologist who also was a mindfulness teacher – I had never heard of mindfulness before, and was skeptical, but open enough to listen in. The way this woman spoke about life and its challenges with such understanding and compassion felt like music for the heart. I did not understand everything she was talking about, and a lot of the ideas were new to me, but something inside me really resonated with her way of seeing the world.
That woman whom I listened to on the train was called Tara Brach, and I have since listened to many hours of her voice – she was my first nudge towards mindfulness. The moment on the train is now over ten years ago, and I am still learning new things about mindfulness every day. Mindfulness is defined as bringing your attention to the present moment without judgement of what you notice. Contrary to what I used to assume, it is not something you ever fully achieve. Instead, it is something you practice and slowly get better at, like Karate, playing the piano or chess. Becoming more mindful feels good, it is like waking up to life around you. For me it was a gentle leaning into presence, slowly, and only so much as I could bear at one time. For a lot of people, the present moment does not only entail pleasant experiences, but pain and suffering also. Old hurt can bubble up, once it sees a chance of being heard by you for the first time - and it can be a lot to feel and take in. That is why compassion is so important when we practice mindfulness.
If any of this resonates with you, you might be wondering where to start. There are a lot of good practices and tools that you can discover on your way to become more present in life: there are apps that help you meditate, you can listen to a body scan online, perhaps you try a yoga class at a studio near you or on YouTube. It all starts with noticing. Notice what is happening in and around you right now. Your senses can then become anchors that help you come back to being an engaged participant in your own life. What sounds can you hear? What smells are present? Can you feel the fabric of your sweater on your skin, or the temperature of the air on your face? What do you taste? And perhaps you even dare venture further and feel into your body (psychologists call this sense interoception, the sense of what is happening inside your body) – can you feel your heartbeat, or the bubbling of your stomach at work? Or you may start to connect to your sense of where your limbs are in space (proprioception) – do you sense where your hands are, or what your toes are feeling?
There is a whole world of resources right at our fingertips – they are already inside you, waiting to be practiced and tapped into. A little caveat is that mindfulness works for a lot of people, but of course it is not the approach for everyone. Explore and take what you find useful, and leave the rest. There is no harm in exploring something that is free and has the potential to help you become present.
References
Brach, T. (2003). Radical acceptance: embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha. Chicago / Turabian.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2005). Wherever You Go There You are (10th ed.). Hyperion.
Hanson, R., & Mendius, R. (2009). Buddha's brain: the practical neuroscience of happiness, love & wisdom. Chicago / Turabian.
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Until next time,
The Mala Child & Family Institute Team
