The Power of Positive Regard
The Power of Positive Regard
By Caleb Bonno, BS
Master’s Level Clinical Psychology Practicum Student
One of the most important aspects of therapy, which every therapist should ensure is included in sessions, is the idea of positive regard. This creates the foundation of an effective therapeutic relationship, and often the trust and openness of the client depend on its presence in the therapy room. Positive regard communicates to the client that they are valued and recognized as living, breathing individuals, rather than as problems that need fixing.
Understanding Unconditional Positive Regard
For therapists, this often takes the form of unconditional positive regard for clients. What that means is that no matter who a client is, what they’ve done, or what they believe, the therapist will genuinely and authentically accept and support who they are as a fellow person. This is not the same as approving or accepting everything a client does; doing so could lead to harmful habits. Instead, it involves accepting and supporting the person, even if their decisions are not aligned with the therapist’s approval, believing in their potential to grow and do good. Pioneered by Carl Rogers, unconditional positive regard is a hallmark of client-centered therapy, but it can also be applied in any therapeutic setting. A therapist’s role is to help their clients and stand by them no matter what. If they don’t truly believe in their clients and their potential as individuals, they aren’t fulfilling their role as a therapist. Therefore, unconditional positive regard for the client should be a fundamental part of every therapeutic relationship.
Its Application in the Therapy Office
Personally, I try to incorporate this with all of my clients from the moment I meet them for the first time. No matter who they are and what they’re coming to see me for, I see them as people first and foremost, and with that, potential for what their absolute best possible outcome could be. This can start by taking a genuine interest in their interests, be that toys or sports or coloring, and making sure that before anything else, we establish a trusting relationship from the first session, and that from there we continue to work towards the best outcome. When presented with something that goes against the self-interest of a client, it’s important to make sure that you never react from a place of judgement, and always try to lead with compassion and understanding. These are important tenets that I try to follow in my sessions.
Extending Positive Regard Outside of Therapy
For clients, this involves offering self-affirmations and fostering a positive outlook in their lives. “Self-affirmations can restore self-competence by allowing individuals to reflect on sources of self-worth, such as core values” (Cascio). Practicing self-affirmation may be as simple as repeating a phrase like “I am enough” and truly believing what you’re saying. By doing this, clients can start to develop a sense of internal support that reflects the unconditional positive regard they receive during therapy sessions. As they apply what they learn in session to their lives, clients can build resilience and reduce the impact of initial negative reactions that often occur automatically.
Closing Thoughts
All of this is easier said than done, especially when dealing with thoughts and feelings that contradict the idea of giving yourself space to feel positive about yourself and your actions. It's perfectly normal to have neutral or even negative thoughts and feelings about yourself. When you first confront these emotions and approach them with love and acceptance, it can feel strange and counterintuitive. However, by offering yourself understanding and responding positively to initially negative situations, you can make significant progress in your overall state of mind. This process doesn’t have to happen overnight, and it’s likely to be challenging. But simply allowing yourself the grace to view yourself positively can greatly benefit your mental health and have a lasting impact on your entire life.
References
Cascio CN, O'Donnell MB, Tinney FJ, Lieberman MD, Taylor SE, Strecher VJ, Falk EB. Self-affirmation activates brain systems associated with self-related processing and reward and is reinforced by future orientation. Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2016 Apr;11(4):621-9. doi: 10.1093/scan/nsv136. Epub 2015 Nov 5. PMID: 26541373; PMCID: PMC4814782.
Loveman, K. (2024, May 31). Bulletproof Self-love: How to build an unshakeable relationship with yourself. Tiny Buddha. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/bulletproof-self-love-how-to-build-an-unshakeable-relationship-with-yourself/
If you have any questions concerning care at Mala or would like to reach out for another reason, we’d love to hear from you.
Until next time,
The Mala Child & Family Institute Team
