Living Between Spaces: Connecting My Different Worlds
Living Between Spaces:
Connecting My Different Worlds
By Charity Otieno, AGPCNP
Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner Student
I was born and raised in Kenya, a place often labeled as a “developing country” — a term that never fully captures its true essence. Growing up, we weren't considered poor, yet our home never had running water or electricity.
Life was deeply structured, disciplined, and intricately shaped by community. The concept of the "village" was very real; neighbors, teachers, and relatives all had the right to discipline you if they saw fit. As children, we didn't have a voice or the luxury of choice. Instead, we learned respect, obedience, and above all, survival.
Education was everything. It was viewed as the single, definitive path forward. When my siblings and I reached elementary age, we were sent away to boarding school. This was seen as the gateway to better education and greater opportunities in life. It was an immense privilege, but also a steep sacrifice for our parents-both financially and emotionally. It meant being away from home for months at a time, leaving teachers and school counselors to stand in as parents. That physical distance shaped us. For some, the early separation made it much harder to stay deeply connected with our own families later in life.
The Path I Walked
At 20 years old, I left Kenya for college in Canada. My immediate reality shifted from pursuing a degree to pure survival. Building a sustainable life and a career became my ultimate priority. I studied, worked, and volunteered my way through college, eventually taking a break from my studies to focus on a path to stability: earning permanent residency in a country that had given me so much.
Every step required sacrifice. I never could have envisioned that, after finally building that hard-won foundation, I would leave it behind to start all over again for love in a brand-new country. Once again, I found myself walking the arduous path of pursuing education, finding work, and navigating the immigration process toward permanent residency.
"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." — Nelson Mandela
That quote was my guiding belief growing up. But alongside my focus on education, I had to secure my place in a new society - a process that can take years. While many young adults graduate with a Bachelor’s degree at 22, I was incredibly proud to walk across the stage with an Associate’s degree at the prime age of 28. I wasn't just pursuing an education; I was learning how to survive and thrive in an entirely different culture.
Where Our Worlds Meet
Today, my children live in a world that is light years away from the one I knew. Their reality is filled with choice, access, and emotional safety. They can speak their minds freely, come to us without fear, and grow into themselves with unwavering confidence. They have never had to fetch water, build fires, or shoulder the heavy responsibilities that defined my own childhood.
Kenya has evolved drastically, too. When we visit now, we are met with a rapidly changing country. The superhighways, flashy shopping malls, global brand shops, and Western fast-food chains are a stark contrast to the landscapes I grew up seeing.
Now, I find myself living in the space between these worlds, constantly bridging my past with my children’s present. Parenting in this space requires deep intention and attention.
It means teaching them my culture while fully embracing theirs.
It means protecting them from the hardships I endured while preparing them for the complexities of today’s world.
It means unlearning deeply ingrained habits and respecting choices that challenge how I was raised - understanding that we are cut from a different cloth, and that neither way is inherently wrong or superior.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. Growing up, my village was assigned to me by geography and blood. Today, my village is chosen. Without extended family nearby, I had to build my own support system. Friends who show up. People who step in. A modern village built entirely on trust, presence and intention.
Bridging the Divide
This space between worlds isn't just shaping my parenting; it is also guiding my journey toward becoming a mental health provider. My life has taught me that people carry multiple worlds within them, past and present, culture and identity, survival and growth.
My role as a future mental health provider is not to erase one world in favor of another, but to learn how to hold space for both. To understand, to listen, and to help bridge those internal divides with empathy and respect.
As a mother, my ultimate goal is not to recreate the world I came from, nor is it to erase it from my family's story. It is simply to raise grounded, respectful adults. I want my children to be confident in their own world, yet deeply aware that other worlds exist - worlds shaped by experiences vastly different from their own.
This is the work.
And it is still in progress.
References:
American Psychological Association. (2023). Health advisory on social media use in adolescence.
Pew Research Center. (2022). Teens, social media and technology.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2021). Youth risk behavior survey data summary & trends report.
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Until next time,
The Mala Child & Family Institute Team
